Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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