I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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