we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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