I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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