I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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