Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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