When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Randomize
