The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
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The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
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What changed your mind?
Being sober
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize