I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
