I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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