maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
