Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
