And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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