I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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