You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
