sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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