Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
