I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Randomize
