haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
he shaved USA in his pubs
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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