Already got asked if we're dating
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
