I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
