from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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