So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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