just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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