when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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