remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
