k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
