Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize