she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
