The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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