I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
