So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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