Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
