Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
