before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
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