She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
