I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Damn victory sex feels great
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
