it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I had to cum in my sink.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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