xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
