oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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