Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
