Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
