how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
