***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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