he shaved USA in his pubs
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
