Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize