why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
