we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
