In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
