Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god was she eating orange peels again
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize