Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
