Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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