He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
