i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
